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Broken House Remix

by Rusty

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about

The song was, and is, about the mental health I had back then; it built up, just to collapse in on itself. It hasn't been until the last couple of months that I've realized how ill suited my theories of mental health and the human mind was to actually help me make any progress to becoming happier. Now this is not to say I am happy all the time now; my last videos were, in my honest opinion, quite strange and perhaps even forced; though they were also a way to force some social behaviour from myself. I think though that I've realized that that wasn't what I needed - it was the opposite. I am a very introverted person, and I am a recluse, yet I had been forcing myself to constantly work towards social goals and interaction like these were bad things. I was judging myself all the time, so I collapsed a bit again. A time ago I realized that being an introverted recluse doesn't mean that I don't have any friends, or that I dislike people and want to die alone, but that the friends and family I do have are respecting or adhering to my personality and what makes me comfortable. A great morning for me is a cup of tea, perhaps some newly baked scones, all alone in my garden, looking at the birds and trees and bushes; not waking up to messages or phone calls or such. Then, when I'm done, I want to do nothing more than to go have fika with my colleagues or friends. Realizing that hiding away from people isn't an illness but something I have to do to recharge, has actually helped me become more sociable and happy. It's weirtd how that works huh... Well no, I get energy from being alone, and spend that energy interacting and having fun. Where the heck this paragraph go, this was never supposed to be in the description. Huh. Well, I am happy now that I wrote it anyway, so something must be right, right?
Anyway, if you want the lyrics they're around here:

lyrics

My house is falling down

Its breaking and creaking again

I've spent so much time to build it up

It's the third time (was other things here too but that audio file is gone and if I had filled it in I would have had to - right, lyrics)

Maybe it's the wood, or maybe the nails are bad

Maybe I should try to not use so damn much tape

let's get to it then, I'll gather up all the pieces
I can't leave it, the rubble just follows me around

credits

released September 8, 2019

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Rusty Enköping, Sweden

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